PERFORMING AN EMOTIONAL AS WELL AS A HOUSE EXORCISM

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Okay, so I am one of those happy, gay, cheerful, christmas slults that absolutely LOVE this time of year. The smells, the colors, the air, the decorations, the food, the music, and the cheer. I LOVE CHRISTMAS....

now back to the exorcism thingy.. I know its spelled wrong but overlook it... I am working hard to change my attitude and expunging the demon that has been riding my back for way too long and spending 4 days with my mother has been motivation to do so and to do it quickly. My life is NOT horrible... I have a GREAT husband AND kids. A warm, safe, and happy home with wonderful neighbors and a few close friends and lots of aqaintances that respect me and my family. I am a good person with a strong will that is toooooooo serious all the time and make mountains out of molehills.... why my husband has so gracefully put up with me I will never know..... (maybe it is good head) teehee teehee...the latter comment was inspired by my bestest bud Allen and he'll catch my drift....lol
Anyway, I do solmenly swear to uphold my commitment to purging most if not all negative thoughts and actions and to make a full fledge effort to be positive.

Now, I am not so naive to think that I will have bad days and I will still use my right to vent and purge it and turn into something postive. My life is not a soap opera and I will not subcumb.
I promise that I will post on my good days as well as my bad days instead just posting when I have something to bitch about.
I will laugh at my husband's jokes and not think he is trying to say something else.
I will try very very very hard to be more patient with my 14 yr old stepson... I need lots of help on this one....
I am not going to let money problems consume me.

I think I have covered most everything.... Wish me Luck...

Now back to ALLEN'S MOSTEST FAVORITE HOLIDAY OF ALL TIMES.....
CHRISTMAS.......

MUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHMAUAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAH i JUST HAD TO SAY THAT......TEEEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE

Bill, the boys, myself and Gulliver the puppy all went to Lowe's this afternoon and picked out our christmas tree. We went there because they were supposed to have the best Douglas Fir Trees in the area at a reasonable price of 21.88.... Now those trees were very nice and very green and were lovely. However, my stepson walked past a Fraser Fir Tree and paused to look at it. I stopped to see what he was looking at turned my head this way and that way and fell in love with that tree. I felt like Clark W. Griswold in Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when he found "The Griswold Family Christmas Tree" The choir sang "Hallelujah" and a beautiful golden light shone down on that tree. My husband walked up and I said... Just look at that tree its beautiful.... and My husband said Yeah... it is.... Well, I then noticed the price of 49.98.... and I was hmmmmm..... Lets go look at the Douglas Firs and see if there is one there we like as well.... Well of course there wasn't because we all LOVED the Fraser tree.... So,, I said to Bill... What the hell.... lets get it... Lets not "settle" for once. I was so impressed with Lowe's as well. The clerks trimmed off what I wanted and cut an inch of the bottom as well so it would absorb water better. They netted the tree and provided the nylon string to tie to the top of our van.... We went home a happy family. When we got home, Bill got up in the attic and brought down All my decorations... Which my friends is no easy task... I have a ton of Christmas stuff. Me and the boys decorated the tree and placed the remaining outside decorations on the porch so daddy could finish tomorrow. I still have most of my inside decorating to do.. but it will be a piece of cake with the tree out of the way. My tree decoratons are red lights and green lights, red and green glass balls, silk poinsettas on single stems strategically placed on the tree, red bead garland and red tinsel. When we got together as a family we started a new tradtion of each boy picking out the tree topper and It was their's to keep for when they grow up and get out on there own. This year was Jonathon's turn and he picked out the most beautiful red stained glassed poinsetta with clear light placed behind each leaf. It looks great on the tree.
I still have my santa collection to put out and my many porcelin trinkets but I will enjoy every minute of it. Well I better wind this down... because I could write a book about christmas... TTFN

Peace and Joy to you and yours....
Re

AFTER THANKSGIVING REFLECTIONS AND UPDATES

Well, My feast was a sucess and we ate heartily and happily considering it was almost cancelled at the last minute. Wednesday, my mothers van caught fire in her carport, caught her dinning room on fire, and burned up another car in the car port as well. Both vehicles exploded and pratically burned to the ground. Her carport is gone and most of her dinning room... which was an add on, which in turn ended up saving the rest of the house from bursting into flames. The entire house is smoked damaged and is not liveable at the moment. So we are Thankful this year for everyone being alive and their home not burning to the ground. The house and vehicles are insured, thankfully, so now it is just a matter of re-grouping. My brother and his wife were on their way back from my sisters when it happened so they brought mom down here with them so she could get away from it all. Dad had to haul peanuts so he stayed in their camper trailer and made sure everything was secure.

I know what my mother is going through, I have been through it myself. I lost my entire home to a fire and most of my possessions.... So I can relate. She is still in shock and is being very negative about everything and I kinda lost my temper with her. The people from her area have all offered them housing and use of a vehicle if necessary... Everyone is being very helpful and wonderful. I lost my temper because she made a statement to me "You don't understand... I am homeless....My little red car burnt I dont have a car now..." I snapped at her and said.. .excuse me... I dont know know what you are going through? Bullshit... Mom, I LOST my home and everything in it. All I had were the clothes on my back and one car and NO FUCKING INSURANCE and NO ONE in my community helped me... NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON.... AND YOU... YOU have only lived there for two years and the whole town is offering to help. Your home is repairable, your car is replacable and YOU HAVE FUCKING INSURANCE. So dont pull your self-pity shit with me. Go be negative somewhere else...

I know... I was not very compassionate, but you would have to understand my mother and the "DRAMA QUEEN" she loves to be and she loves to be a victim and wallow in self pity. and then.... I had an ephiany.... I realized I have been becoming her, treating my kids the way she had treated me.... and I was very ashamed of myself and made my New Year's Resolution right then and there. I am going to change my attitude about life and work and my family .. it wont be easy but I will do it. I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME HER. Even if I have to seek counseling I am going to learn how to channel her neagitive genes out of me and into positve ones....

I want my family to remember me fondly, not as a moody, psychotic, drama queen angered easily.

I took the twins window shopping of sorts today to get ideas on what they want for christmas and we had such a nice time. They are such sweet boys. They were not greedy or pushy or whiny. They pointed out their most favorite items which I can count on one hand. I was so proud of them. Not much else is going on... Tomorrow we hang the christmas decorations and I am soooo looking forward to it. I am more in the holiday spirit than I have been in years. Well I must go for now...

THANKSGIVING AT MY HOUSE.... WOOOHOOOOOOOO.....

I am so excited about Thanksgiving this year. Usually, it is spent in the car with 3 boys,me, my husband and a dog.... Not this year.... This year I am staying home while Bill goes to Lubbock to pick the kids up from their mom's. My parents are actually comming here to spend time with Grandmaw, so I told them I would cook and we could do our Thanksgiving on Friday. They are thrilled. I have so far 11 people comming for dinner..... I bought a 23lb turkey, a 13lb ham, and all the fixings. Mom and I are going to cook the things we can on Thursday and just spend the whole day together drinking wine , cooking, chit-chatting and watching our Traditional holiday movie.... You know.. the one with Chevy Chase... "THE GRISWALD FAMILY CHRISTMAS" properly titles Lampoon's Christmas vacation..... My mom and I LOVE this movie. We used to always watch it Thanksgiving weekend to bring in the offical holiday season. We are gonna drink cheap wine and have an all out mom-daughter fest... I am sooooo excited....
Here is the menu:
Turkey
Corn bread dressing
Ham
Cheesy green beans
Green bean casserole
Brocolli and rice casserole
Candied Sweet Potatoes(yams for all ya'll non southerners)
Mashed Potatoes
Cranberry Sauce
Gravy
Relish Tray
Deviled Eggs

Desserts...
Pumpkin pie
Pecan Pie
Cherry Cheese Cake
Sweet Potato Pie
Fruit Cocktail

All Homemade and fresh for the pickings....

Cant wait... cant wait... cant wait....

I love to cook and entertain....
See Ya'll later...

Like Sand Through the Hour Glass.... So are the Days of Our Lives....

A few months ago I posted a story about a cat I named Jagger that found me at the local grocery store. This was no ordinary cat. He was absolutely adorable, totally loved me and was a constant comedian. He followed me across the street today as I went to visit with my neighbors. I had yelled at him to get out of street and he did but came into their yard. Something spooked him and he ran back into the street and was struck by a ford ranger pickup.... It flipped him up in the air and he cartwheeled several times struck the street and died horribly and it was awful.... I was screamming for Bill and all I could think about was for Bill to help me... help Jaggar to help him stop hurting.... All I could do was rub his hind quarter and watch him die..... It was horrible.... My baby is gone and it hurts so bad. I only had him for a little over three months and I was severly attached to this cat. I have really long hair... and he loved my hair he would curl up in it and purr and rub my chin with his face. When he was outside while we would sit on the porch and people would walk by on the sidewalk... he would stalk them... and bow up like he was guarding his territory... Today, the wind has been strong and leaves were blowing every where and covering the ground and he would run and leap and jump and dive into piles of leaves....He was so HAPPY. and I failed to protect him... He slept with me at night and he would purr so loud you could hear it the next room and every evening when I got in from week he would meet me at the car...Not many cats are like that.... This hurts so much.... I miss him

CAPTAINS BLOGG: WEDNESDAY NOVE..@#@$@#@$@#$ OH WHAT THE FUCK EVER....

I CANNOT TELL A LIE... ONLY DID A 10 HR DAY TODAY... BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS... I CAN WORK PART OF MY OT ON SATURDAY..... THANK YOU TO THE OVERTIME GODS.....

LATER....

CAPTAINS BLOGG: TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 18,2003 11:20 PM

DAY TWO

Mornings are horrible... and should be illegal. I arose at 8:01 am... got dressed and arrived at work at 8:52 am.... Worked until 9:40 pm... and got me another 12 day under the belt.... Two down... three to go....

Normally sane people do crazy things when exhaustion sets in.... a group of coworkers working late as well began playing some rap music out loud and stood up for a "booty" call and dance for a few beats.... I suppose this was a well intended "tension" breaker.. and I did hurummph... I know a rather pitiful laugh but I just wanted the day to be over.

36 hours since Gulliver last puked... which is a positve sign and he has begun eating small tidbits of food here and there.... I am praying that soon he will be recovered.......Poor Poor Puppy.

Later Gators...

CAPTAIN'S BLOGG: MONDAY, NOVEMBER 17,2003
DAY 1 OF MISSION MAINTAIN

I did not arise at 5am... but I did arise at 6:45 am and made it to work by 8am... and I accomplised a 12 hour day today.... I worked to 9pm arrived home at 9:40 pm and now I am scarfing down warmed over hamburger helper and typing in my blog...I am one fifth into my mission and still feel hopeful to suceed. Carry on adventurers and until tomorrow.... always remember and dont ever forget..... to piss with your back to the wind....

Later

Captains Blogg: Sunday, November 16th, 2003 8:49 P.M.

My mission.... To Maintain....

I must work five 12 hr days inorder to achieve monetry stability for December. These days must be done consectively and done starting tomorrow, Monday thru Friday. There is no option to fail... This must be done or my world as I know it will suffer....Good Luck to you my alter ago and may the force be with you....



I used to love the holidays, but since comming into a ready-made family and being their sole support Financially , I dread them.... However, inorder to maintain this year I do have the opportunity to work overtime and make some money.... and I have to do it fast because there is only three paychecks left till christmas....
So, My friends out there.... Encourage me this week... ask me if I made the 12 hr day each day..... Anything to keep me motivated .... I must be up at 5 am everyday this week ... and I am not a morning person..... So please... I beg of Ya'll... help me to maintain....

Goodnight... and Blessings to all...

Re

PART TWO: THE BEAST FROM QUAD 5 THAT WOULDN'T DIE!!!!

Here is part two as I promised. Please take into consideration that anything I have say about this person, I have infact said to her face so I can continue with my rant with a clear mind.

This person in my opinion is a bi-polar, schizcophrenic, manic depressive, obsessive complusive socieopath and a boil on my ass not to mention society. Names are withheld to protect the innocent(me)...

This person uses the appearance of sweetness and innocence to maniuplate not only her family but co-workers as well. If she does not get her way, there is revenge, malicious, spiteful, manical revenge. For example, she did not want her husband to switch from the night shift to the day shift and to prove her point she now comes in later at work so he arrives home before her and "gets" to cook supper. She also gives him ultimatiums.

Her child needs speech therapy and she does not take him because it is an inconvience. He needed tubes and she felt the dr's were being too pushy about it.... My kids are deaf because the dr's waited too long...

She refuses to be a teamplayer and does not do any work outside of what she considers "her job". If she can pass the buck.. she will....
Now... this is also a very smart woman..... She has paid for her home and her vehicles and has no debt whatsoever....but she complains because her son needs new underwear and it is just too expensive to waste money on.... he is almost four and still wears size two toddler clothes. The child still sleeps in the same bed as his parents.... The same place they have had sex to create another.... child....Yup, she is prego.... and he still takes showers with momma and daddy because it is easier for her....
She is constantly paranoid the her husband is going to leave her,
she does not like him to do anything that is not with her...
I could go on and on and on and on.... Like I said.... The BEAST that wouldn't die.....

ttfn

okay... So I haven't Hugged My Blogg Lately....

I know my life cannot be so boring as to not have a colorful post waiting for the public to read everyday, but when I get home late in the evening, my brain is so fried, and my nerves so frazzled, I cannot bear to live it over again while I type...
Strange but true.... I am a bit neurotic... Does anyone care? Possibly...LOL....

Today I want to use my bit of cyberspace for evil... pure unadulterated evil.... I have kept my mouth shut for too long and I have got to find a release or find myself in a padded room in a straight jacket drooling.... Okay I know.. a little dramatic but I am going for a good read for ya'll .. stick with me and note the colorful sarcasm as I go on.....

I am in QUAD hell at work....You say "what the hell is a quad?"... A quad is a cubicle of sorts.... Instead of having your own personal desk and cubicle... you share a larger version with 3 other people.... You have no privacy... and sometimes have to tolerate people less fortunate than you that were not given brains at birth....

Am I exaggerating.... I dont think so.... One of the ladies I share with is very intelligent,straightforward and shares most of my viewpoints. The second lady is only visting us temporaily but I like her just fine....... The third lady... drives me nuts...

tune in later for Part Two.... THE BEAST FROM QUAD 5 THAT WOULDN'T DIE

HOME OF THE FREE… LAND OF THE BRAVE

Today, my stepsons had the honor of representing, not only
The Weblos, Pack 1 and Boy Scouts Troop 38(their respective divisions of scouts) but their country as well. The pack and troop were asked to perform the Flag Ceremony as a way of beginning and ending a Program organized in my hometown to honor Veterans.
First, I must say, I am extremely proud of my sons and my heart swelled even larger with love and pride seeing them participate in such an important social gathering. The program was well organized and I felt did an excellent job honoring the men and women that have and are serving our country. Our state representative was on hand to speak, our mayor, and various men and women that have served and are currently serving our country.

I was humbled by their courage…Awed by their sacrifices, and ashamed at my grief over petty trials and tribulations. One man, I have had the honor of hearing speak while a sophomore in highschool was also a speaker today. He served in World War II and survived “The BATTAN MARCH OF DEATH” and being held captive as a prisoner of war in a Japanese prison camp. He did not go into details today, but I remember his story… I remember the crack in his voice as he spoke to my history class telling us how good a drink of muddy water tasted that had a bloated dead body laying in it… I remember the tears gently rolling down his cheeks as he told us it was an honor to serve his country and would do it again without pause. I remember my eyes were not dry either and I remembered the shame I felt at my own selfishness. This man was reduced to 70lbs while a POW… over two-thirds of this body weight wasted… I remember him telling us when he was given food that his body rejected it and he was so hungry that he would eat it again after his body purging it, and he ate bugs and other things just to stay alive. The horrors seen by this man, by other men as well… we the people cannot EVEN begin to imagine or relate. We live in our comfortable little worlds and “THINK” we know the answers to the world’s problems… These men and women DIE for our country, for our beliefs, for our constitutional rights and all for less than what you or I make. They DIE for this…. They SURVIVE unspeakable horrors while we sit by and get our “fix” on disgusting horror movies, senseless killing in action movies, and lewd porno movies, and EVERY one of those men and women that spoke today said basically two things…. They would do it again without question…. And when your life is on the line and you’re in distant land, in a trench, foxhole, plane or whatever…. You have no doubt there is a GOD and you are not afraid because you feel him walking beside you… even carrying you at times…
I am awestruck. I am humbled… but I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN… and I for one, WELCOME HOME ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAVE EVER SERVED OUR COUNTRY….

Thank you for your self-less service

Okay... I think I need to attend blogging school... I need to learn how to make my blog more colorful and interesting. I wanna download Stevie trivia and such and pictures and all kinds of things... Where do I go to learn more?

Nick... Thanks for stopping by... I am glad you did. I promise to have more interesting stuff here soon....

Allen... Dude.... My Buddy, My Pal .... What happened today? I hope all is well...... Ya, got me worried, man.....

I hope to get in the mood to do some writing this weekend..... anywho I will catch ya'll later...

TTFn
Re'