Lost Spirit

She said…

“Mirror Mirror”
And the winds raised, and the flame of her candle
Went down in sorrow, before the question could
Come to life… The answer revealed itself---
A ghost reflection in the silver glass
Haunt of a spirit from so long ago
Calling friend, cursing Foe, cursing Time…
The dreamer of old, faded,
Transcended through time, Now
Only a wisp of magic smoke
Wafting away on the wind.
Day is dawning
Cover of night slipping away, along
With her hopes, her dreams and the
Spirit of the wind …


Renee Herod
8/20/2003

Life is so short… some of us have the courage to live out our dreams and some of us hardly have the courage to live…

To The Sea...To Be Free

And up from the Ashes
She arose, like a phoenix
Reborn on the wings of hope,
And Dawn of a new day.
Evil shall not prevail

And the spinning globe of glass
Turns on with the force of time
Winter settles in like an old lover.
And the Goddess sleeps in his arms.
Gaining strength for her return.


Another life, another time
Blessed with the kiss of a promise
Holding fast upon her heart and
All of the Years fall away and melt
Unto the sea ...

Like a Phoenix
She rises up out of the Winter

and
Flees to the sea...

Take me... Take me home ... Take me to the sea...
With the night she is gone .... Dancing across the sea with silver wings....

Dancing to be Free...

THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE

For several years, I have been wistful, longing for something more in my life. I have been moping around trying to figure out what is missing, and the more I think about it the more I know what it is that I want. I want to return to school and obtain my teaching degree. I want to quit my dead end job and something meaningful with my life, and I have made up my mind to do it. Come the fall, I hope to be able to quit my job and return to school full time. Its going to be hard but well worth the investment of my time and my efforts. I am so excited about this... I will blogg more later this week... it is hard to type right now... I chopped off the tip of my finger yesterday.... ttfn

INVASION OF THE MONGOLIAN BODY SNATCHERS A LA ALLEN AND JENNY STYLE......


Yesterday ...hmmmm Yesterday.... I WAS NOT THE FIRST ONE TO COLLAPSE......NEEENNERRRRRNENRNENENENNENENENENENRNERERERERE....... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.....

Yesterday was my first time attending the Annual Christmas Shopping Spree, graciously hosted by Allen and Jenny A.K.A... "Those Goddamn Mongrolians".....hehehehe.... and I must say I had the absolute most bestest time I have had in a really long time.... and all I have to say to those two bastards is..... "You Die... You Die and go to Hell.... You die hard you die wlong You goddamn mongrolians....." LMFAO.....

Let me share with how my day started....... ((((wavy lines wavy lines fade to bedtime night before))))

Me:(speaking to Bill) are we gonna have Hot nasty Birthday sex?
BIIL: Why... you want too?
ME: well... it is my birthday and my heart wants to but my body is sooo tired....
Bill: Me too....
ME: Lets just relax and watch some tv...
Bill(staring at tv): hmm... do you say something?
Me: naww... I love you baby....

I went to bed at 12ish and arose at 5 am and got ready and went to work.. I worked from 6 am till 9:15 am and then went to Allen's....

Was berated for being late...We all piled into Allen's Durango and off we went.... First was breakfast at Sonic for Allen and Jenny... Then on to Mcdonalds for me...

We went to Justin, Tx to the Justin Boot Outlet and it was totally crowded and you couldn't find anything in the right size.... Allen had a momentary lapse of reason as was feeling all the "gayness being sucked right of him" in the midst of all the macho cowboys sauntering around.... We left and I was again berated ...
Allen: We came all the way down here and you only bought one thing?
Me(pious and pitful): I am so sorry my Lord, it shall not happen again....
Allen muttered something but by then I had spotted another outlet store advertising Rockies for only 10.00 dollars and I shouted to Jenny..... Rockies.... over there lets go....

There I found me a pair of rockies but Jenny could not find any in her size.... I did find her a pair of RED SHINY PLEATHER PANTS FOR ONLY 5.00....I thought she was going to choke me with them...so i said... I guess not huh?

So we go back to the trusty Durano and Allen starts babbling about the easiet way to get to Frisco from there and I said go back like we came except hit 380 and we'll cut across... He proceeded to check his map and said.... 5 points to Re- Re ... 380 it is....
so off we went....

We arrived in frisco and went straight to Pier 1, then some candle shop and a book store and then we went to Texas Land and Cattle Co. to eat....

I have never had such delicious food.... I had a sirloin steak, grilled shrmp, cesar salad, onion strings, wine, garlic mashed potatoes and a ball of ice cream rolled in carmel and hot fudge and pecans.... Heaven ..pure heaven....
We head back to sherman and Jenny lays down in the back with a bad headache. We go to Allen's house and drop off packages and by then Jenny is feeling really bad... she decides to lay down for awhile and Allen and I go to the Mall..... I hate the Mall... and I was so dissappointed in Dillards' international Santa Collection... It used to be very chic... now it looks like the cheap dollar store stuff that is overpriced.... Allen found him some neat journals and waldens and we went back to his house... Jenny was still under the weather and asked us to give her 30 more minutes before hitting Wal-Mart.....
We made it to Wal-mart and that is where the chaos began.......
I have never seen so many morons collectively gathered in one place in all my life.... They were everywhere... I hate the Sherman Wal-mart... I despise it... their toy selecton sucked as did their CD selection... Jenny had gotten her second wind by then and was ready to shop.... Allen and I ... well we were starting to get tired.... By then we had been at it for over 12 hours.... We just wanted to get our shit and get gone.... We were so Evil to Jenny....... I hope she will forgive us...
I thought Allen was gonna pop when I said I had to go to the bathroom....
and i cannot even bring myself to talk about the Electronics incident....

We finally left wal-mart and went to sonic for drinks and back to allens house ... we unloaded and loaded our cars and I headed home... I stopped and got gas and then I was finally on my way..... I got home left all my shit in the car and came inside pulled off my shoes and my clothes and go into my pj's and watched TV will Bill......

The pain set in... OMG.... MY hands ached from being used to pick up and inspect things and ponder. My hair ached from being tossed about, my toes and feet swelled to unbelivable proptions and my jaws hurt from talking so much.... and my sides hurt from laughing so much all day....

All In All it was a really great time and I cannot wait to do it again Next Year.... I was prepared somewhat this year... but next year..... hehehehehehehhe I am gonnna take them "goddamn mongolians" down....hehehehehe...ehhehehehehehe...hehehehehehehehhe mwahhhhh muahhh..... snot... gasp guffaw.....

Merry Christmas!!!!

Happy Birthday to My Daddy....

Tonight we had a really nice and cozy birthday celebration for my Daddy. He turned 65 today. Bill cooked supper and baked a triple chocolate fudge (two-layer) cake. We had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, black eyed peas, spinach, and biscuits....YUM YUM....The boys all made dad homemade birthday cards and he adored them. It was really nice... I love my daddy very much... He will always be my first love.....

Daddy's and their little girls all share a sacred bond. The first man a little girl falls in love with is her daddy and as she gets older she breaks her daddy's heart with her selfishness and rebellion.... But as Time goes by.... and we get older "The Landslide brought me down" .... and I realize all that was sacrificed in the name of love for your child/ children and you find a new respect and a deeper love for your parents than you could have ever imagined. I love my dad very much and pray for his health, safety, and happiness.... Thank you Daddy.... and I love you...

CLOSED FOR MAINTENCE??????


What's up with that? Evidentily my shout it is suffering technical diffiiculties and no on bothered to tell me..... OH WELL ... I am not on long.. having major anixeity attack and can barely sit still... Email me if the Shout Out thingy is broken..... TTFN

Friday....

Well I made it through another week.... Thank Goodness Pay Day Is next Thursday... I am soooooo looking forward to the up and comming shopping excursion next Saturday.... Another Gift Idea for me folks is Lord of the Rings Two Towers..... I dont have much to blogg about right now... so I will catch ya'll on the flip side...
ttfrn

I TAKE IT BACK I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO BLOGG ABOUT.....

MIchael Jackson and the Allegations of Child Molestation....

I am really surprised, no shocked at the number of people that feel he should just be "left alone". We live in a society that is shocked and outraged when a child has been violated and demand satifaction from our government and the authorities when the child's rights have been violated. We teach our children that is important for them to speak up and tell when they have been wronged. However, in many cases we choose NOT to hear them, because we "just cannot believe" that someone close to us would do such an unspeakable act. By doing this we in turn EMPOWER sexual predators to coerce and maniuplate our children. Sexual predators feed on our vulernablities and are very good at using those vulernablities against us and sometimes we wise up to it and sometimes we do not. They tell us things we want to hear because we are so desperate for kindred spirits and knights in shinning armour that we do not see the forest for the trees.

Michael Jackson may or may not be guilty of child molestation but I do feel if allegations are being made they should be investigated. He lost his right to a normal life when he chose a life and career that depends on the public. If he is innocent, then so be it... If he is guilty He needs to be stopped...

People have made comments stating " whats wrong with letting a child sleep in your bed" To this I have to say if you are a 45 year old man sleeping in the same bed as a 10,12, 13 year old child something is amiss.... My children Do Not sleep in the same bed as me or their father even when they are sick. Its not conducivive to healthy behaviour patterns. I did not sleep with my parents. If I were sick, I slept nearby on the couch but not in the same bed and I have my kids do the same. It does not mean I love them any less.

Also, Have any of you taken a close look at the changes Michael Jackson has made to his face over the years? If you look at the pictures taken inside his ranch of all of those dolls he has, you would see the resemblence. He is trying to look like a doll.... Something is just not right....

Honestly, In my opinion, I feel there is room for alot of doubt of his innocence. However, if I am wrong ... all the better for the kids and their familes. Being a victim and comming forward is not an easy task... You are humilated, violated and persecuted because people simiply refuse to believe.

Sexual Predators are your friends, your family, your neighbors, and your co-workers. They are not all greasy, scumy looking people. Determing if a child has truly been molested is not always an easy task and usually behaviour changes are the first sign... Dont Ignore the signs....

I saw an intresting title to a Blogger Page.....
"Diarrhea of a Sick Mind"

While I did not click my handy dandy websurfing mouse to go view this curious icon.... I found the Title most amusing.....

What is Diarrhea of a sick mind? Tell me fellow bloggers what you might interpret this to be?

I dont really have anything of note to blogg about.... Honestly, I am ready for some new Stevie Stuff.... I would trully like to see her and Lindsey do an album together and just lay it all on the line about their relationship for that last 30 plus years....I realized today that I am the same age Stevie was when Wild Heart and Rock A Little where released..... and I have been listening to those songs for most of my life.... She is truly an Inspiration.

I maybe totally off track here but I think I relate to her writing and her songs and her mystical lyrics because we have similar characteristics... For example,
She has had to be cold and calculating and tough in a man's world. She has had to be strong and go on even when she did not feel like.
Secretly all she has ever wanted to be was a "lady" ... loved and revered... Placed on a pedestal by a Knight in shining armour.... To be visioned as a lovely mystical creature and loved unconditionally....
But reality is a hard game to play...
I think she has had to use womanly cunning to get her voice listened too....
I think her intelligence is far deeper than most will ever realize.
I think that she is not "what you see is what you get" There is a layer there kept covered and we see a little bit of that in her lyrics.

These are just some ramblings of a poet.... dont mind me...

Hope all is well out there for everyone and hope to hear from ya soon...
ttfn

by the way...for all you happy campers out there....Its only 10 more days until my birthday..... Just a few gift ideas listed below....

Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money....

The bad news is.... I am broke....very broke...The good news is come January I wont be so broke....

If I can keep it all together till then Life will be good.

I finally had to break down and have my dr refill my headache pills.... I get tension headaches so bad I cant see straight.
I wish he would prescribe me xanex again....When I had those, I did not stress out so bad....OH Well.....
I hope all of you little christmas urchins are doing well and getting ready for Santa Claus....
I dont have anything interesting to post so I am off to bed....
ttfn

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmm.......

1) dogs/cats licking their balls
if someone invented ball flavored dog/cat food... we would have alot of happy dogs/cats runnining around....

2) spandex
3) Santa can be re-arranged as SATAN
4) red-necks and all they encompass
5) morons driving 45 mph in the fast lane with their left turn signal
blinking
6) breasts on Men???? I mean what the fuck are those for?
7) the chicken or the egg? which came first....?
8) pot is illegal... doesn't cause cancer... but we can buy booze and cigarettes that cause liver damage, heart disease and cancer....
9) artificially flavored??? why fucking bother?
10) kids.... I needed kids like I needed butt implants....

THE CHRISTMAS SEASON HAS NOW OFFICALLY STARTED....

Today, I finally got to watch my mostest, favoritist, funniest christmas movie in the whole mad mad mad world. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase and Beverly D'angelo. This movie is a satire about Christmas and Family and it is frighteningly true even in its most of the wall dramtics. That is my family.... right down to the cousin Eddie and anything that can go wrong will. I love this movie and I laugh and laugh right down to the very end when the light bulb blows out on the The End sign.. The Christmas Season cannot truly begin until I sit down and watch this movie from begining to end parked on the couch with hot chocolate, my flannel pj's, a pillow and a fuzzy blanket.

I dont watch much T.V or movies for that matter because mostly I can figure out the plot within 15 minutes of the watching the movie. Yes.. I am one of those people that run it for everyone else. But when I do find something that I like... PLEASE SUCH THE FUCK UP AND LET ME WATCH MY DAMN MOVIE. I cannot watch T.V with Bill because he talks constantly and I usually miss something I wanted to hear because he is flapping his jaws. He means no harm and It is just one of those character things that I love so much about him..... Yeah Right....TeeeHeee.....Bill hates watching T.V. with me because most of the stuff I can tell him exactly what is going to happen... drives him nuts.... He told his dad about on the phone one day and they plotted to "fix my wagon" last christmas. We had to stay up until 3 am and watch "Pearl Harbor" in order to see if I was as good as Bill said I was..... When the woman's man's plane went down.... I knew the whole story plot and I blurted it out.... Boy meets girl... boy falls in love... boy "dies" and she finds out she is pregnant and falls in love with his best friend and boy returns and one of them end up dying for the other so everyone can live happily ever after. All Bill's dad could say was well we will just have to watch to find out now won't we? I said okay... but mark my words....Sooooooo we watched it and of course I was right..... Now, dont get me wrong... it was a good movie and was done really well and I did enjoy watching it.... but I could also get up and go to the bathroom without fear of losing the storyline.... After the movie was over, Bill said... See Dad I told you... She is not normal.... I said... well at least I can REMEMBER seeing the movie... In two hours you will have forgotten that we saw it.....(that is another posting entirely, Bill suffers from major memory loss)....

Anyway, My point is.... WELL I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT MY POINT IS BUT YOU GET IT ANYWAY RIGHT? RIGHT.. GOOD SHOW OLD FELLOW...

I have some poems to fine tune and hopefully get them posted soon....

I am going with Allen and Jenny on their annual Christmas shopping spree on the 20th and I am sooooo looking forward to this.... they have no ideal how much of an evil shopper I am... I truly hate shopping and crowds of people and I cannot wait to have a breakdown in front of them.... It will be soooooooo funny.... teeeehehehehehheheheheh.....

Well, I am off to bed with visions of mall maulings in my head.....

PMS AND CHILD RESISTANT SAFETY CAPS.....

The two do not mix.... When I say I have PMS... I mean I have PMS.... I dont have the time nor the patience to fight a safety cap on a bottle of pills.... So to humor my raging hormones I have come up with a top 10 list.

10 REASONS SAFETY CAPS SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM MIDOL AND OTHER PMS MEDICATIONS.

10) TO PREVENT A HORMONE ENRAGED STERIOD BUFFED WOMAN FROM CRAMMING IT UP SOME UNSUSPECTING PHARMACIST'S ASS.
9) PEACE ON EARTH
8) IF YOU ARE ON THE RAG THEN CHANCES ARE YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRIGGING KIDS TO PROTECT THEM FROM THE DANGERS OF PMS PILLS.
7) HORMONALLY IMBALANCED WOMAN ARE MORE OF DANGER TO THEIR KIDS THAN THE PILLS
6) THREE YEAR OLDS HAVE MORE OF A CHANCE OF GETTING THE SON OF BITCHING BOTTLE OPEN THAN AN ADULT
5) PEACE ON EARTH
4) HANDGUNS AND PMS DO NOT MIX... GIVE THE GAL A PILL ALREADY
3) TRYING TO OPEN A BOTTLE WHILE DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY IS A HARZARDOUS TO OTHER DRIVERS.... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A HORMONAL FEMALE BEHIND THE WHEEL JUST TRYING TO GET SOME FUCKING RELIEF....
2) PUSH DOWN AND TURN IS A JOKE... IT NEVER WORKS....
***********AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON CHILD SAFETY CAPS SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM MIDOL***********************
1)ITS AN EVIL PLOT DEVELOPED BY MAN SIMPLY TO TORMENT WOMEN ......

THINK ABOUT IT LADIES....
GOODNIGHT....

Christmas Nymphs and Gnomes I need you NOW.....

I love the whole spirit of christmas and the cooking and making candy and decorating and the magic in all the little kid's faces christmas morning.... Staring in wonderment at all the goodies under the tree and in their stockings. I love it !!! But I also get stressed out over money. It seems that every year no matter how hard I try to have extra money at christmas I never suceed and I have to scrimp and cut corners in order to provide my kids with what appears to be a good christmas. I dont know how my parents ever did it.... Maybe that is why mother is psychotic.....LOL... SNORT ... GASP ... Guffaw.....TEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHe....Anywho....
Ya'll pray for me and maybe some money will fall out of sky......

I have done really well so far at keeping my attitude in check. Its hard... its very hard..... but I am having small sucesses here and there and I focus on those.
Well.. I hope all of you are safe and well... I am off to bed.... I have an appointement with a hot water bottle, a heating pad, and midol.... Smooches.