Got Poems???



Thing Of Beauty

Was the sky blue today,
Did anyone notice?
Reasons come raining
Down through the tears
From Above...
Lost inside an
Inner torment
Fueled by a lunatic's disease,
She waits for an epiphany,
Waiting on the edge of maddness...
No one came...
No one "got it"
No one provided a boundary...

And life lived and died with
A drug induced bloody euphoria
Shadows of the truth dimmed
By a purple haze...

Renee H.
6/21/04


False Validation

Take a walk outside your
Selfish proximity for
Just a moment of time
And maybe you will find
There is more to you than me..
And the life you lead
Could be so much more
If only you did not breathe for me...


Renee H
6/21/04 not finished


Aging

And she was alone in her darkness
Shadows of her beauty
Dancing through memory
Greiving for life times passed
And the losing grace of age,
Passing down to a
Tried little woman of
A dead era...

Renee H.
6/23/04

Leave

Go ahead, leave ifyou will
No so many tears fell in despair
No stories to be told of love here...
The flame born here,
Shall die here...
Just like me..

All night long
You danced with me and now
Morning is comming
So, Go ahead, leave if you must

The pale grey tears are only
Falling from the sky here...

Renee H

6/23/04

Little Dreamer

It is your heart beat
In the shadows of night
I hear calling to me...
It is your footsteps
In the hall I hear...
Some lonesome night...
And I became like a lunatic
Flying through the
Wind, and the rain
Just to get to you...

Renee H.
6/23/04

Written for the spirit of a mother getting to a frightened child deep in the night...

Vision Of Night

He stole away the light
Within the darkness
And brave she was...
And still she was changed...
No longer a weaver
Of enchantment
The lady faded with in
The Myst, within the night...
And she fell away from the dream,
She fell away longing for a night song...

Renee H.
6/23/04


Untitled

She turned to the sound of a voice
Calling out her name
And she became consumed
With the knowledge of time
Pressing down around her...
Just like the echoes of voices...
And the song she sang became
A lullabye to madness...
She was drowning in a pool of demons
Taunts never stopping, Age
Of reason slipping away...
And she never made it home...


Renee H.
6/23/04


Ilusion Within A Dream

Was it her you saw within
Your dream each night
The beauty unbeholden
To a voice or a brush,
Was she the one enticing you
To live within a lie...

In the silence of a moment,
In the beauty of a moment,
Whose face did you see...
In those dreams...
Whose eyes fell upon your sorrow
In tears of pain rolling down
An innocent face---weeping
For your pain...

But...

Maybe, it was you all
along drifting between realities...

Renee H
6/25/04

WELCOME TO MY WORLD....

I have been noticing that new people have been reading my blog and I wanted to welcome them and encourage them to post comments even if you disagree with my viewpoint. I am open to education, anytime. Also, I apologize for not posting everyday, but I am a very busy woman, with three step-children, all boys and two of them twins, ages 14 and 10(the twins are 10). I also work 40-60 hrs a week, have 4 Akitas, 1 cat, Two horses of our own, plus 30 more horses,that belong to my father, and a husband to love and nuture. My husband is Mr. Mom and takes care of all that he can during the day, but its a large job that takes the entire family jumping in and takin on duties. Even with all of the chaos, I still find time to write poetry, post on my blog, and enjoy the company of friends. Currently, I actually found time to write several poems today and will possibly post them later tonight. I just finished reading a book about "GIA" titled Thing of Beauty(I know proper grammer requires I underline the title, but my blogger always leaves it out.). I am still enchanted by Stevie Nicks, but have been listening to Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morrisette, and Avril Laigne. Stevie is still my favorite because she can send me to another world when I listen to her. Sheryl Crow is mellow to me and I find I can chill out and relax to her music. Alanis, she is a force all to herself and I love to Jam to her and sing out loud. Avril is a fairly new talent that is still kind of teen oriented, but I like her style and vocal range and look forward to see how she grows musically.

The kids leave in the morning to spend the rest of the summer with their mom, and will not be back until the 6th of august. We are having unusually mild temperatures here in Texas for June, which is great, I don't have to turn on the air conditioning, which means I save money.

Anywho thats me and what is going on for now.... Love to All

Re'

Humor Is In the Gufaw of the Beholder....

Apparently no one found my little antedote about Slash's guitar amusing. I thought It was hilarious. I guess it was one of those "you had to be there moments"....

The kids are leaving Thursday to be with their Mom for the rest of the summer. I am going to miss them, but I am also going to enjoy a break for a few weeks. Too bad I have to work the whole time they are gone... TEE HEE...

Not much else going on here... Just unusually cool temperatures for our area for this time of year. The high tomorrow is only supposed to be in the 80's, which is fine with me because,normally, it is hitting 100 about now.

I haven't written anything new in awhile.. I have a dry spell going, but it will pass .. it always does.

Well I should be in bed and I guess that about updates everything going on here. Muaz..

Re'

SLASH'S GUITAR...

Many, many, many years ago, in a Time far and away, My sister and I developed a strong friendship and love for rock n roll music. We were both HUGE Guns-N-Roses fans. We had the words to every song memorized and every move Axl made in the Patience and Sweet Child O'Mine video. Hope was especialy good at Axl's signature Snake move. One night, she and I were at a local hang out for kids in our area. It was a place to play pool, listen to music and of course veg out on burgers, fries, pizza, nachos... etc... etc... Anyway, we were sitting in a booth minding our own "biddness" when these two really "gross" older guys sat down with us and actually began flirting. It was sad, and can we say umm we were most definitely "jail bait"... We were trying to be nice and polite and not make a scene, but we could not get these guys to leave us alone. So out of no where, I said."Hey... Hope did I show you the postcard I got from George the other day?" My sister, not missing a beat says... "Umm no, where is he THIS time?"

ME: You are not going to believe this....

Her: ahh come on just tell me...

ME: You will just die....

HER: Will you tell me already...

Me: He is in California living in Slash's Guitar...

HER: That bugger he always said he was gonna do it!!! WOW awesome.. you gotta tell me everything...

TWO REALLY OLDER GROSS DUDES LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND LOOK AT US AND GO... UMM WHO'S GEORGE???

Without missing a beat and in complete unison, we said and I quote...."He's our imaginary friend from the Sixties and constantly fried"

Needless to say the guys thought we were too weird for them as I continued to give Hope all the glorious details of George's trip across America and finally making it to Slash's Guitar and the Jam sessions and parties he had been to.

That night she and I were so in tune with each other and we used this many times to make people laugh and the stories got wilder and wilder as time went on...

I wonder what George is doing now??????

Vacation...

I have had a very nice vacation time and have gotten a few things done around here that needed to be done and the kids have enjoyed me being home with them. They have had Vacation Bible School, Summer Reading Program at the Library, swimming at the local pool, shopping and of course swimming in our "redneck" pool. We have also continued working on bricking our back patio. We still have a long way to go, but I can see how beautiful it is going to look when we are done. We got all of these bricks for free when the old library was torn down. We went with a trailer every evening for about a week and picked up all these brick. So far we have bricked two sidewalks in front of the house, bricked two runners for Bill's driveway and have part of the back patio completed. I just hope we dont run out of brick....

I still have a luncheon date tomorrow with my bestest bud, a yard sale on saturday and movies on Sunday with the kids. So, needless to say I have not run out of things to do.... How I wish I could win the lottery and be here everyday. I have been more patient with Bill and the Kids and have really enjoyed being with them.

Fleetwood Mac night was a blast and I still wish I could have gone to the concert but hopefully there will be others.

Our female akita, Shae, is now offically unable to ever bear puppies again. Thank goodness....

There were things I planned to do that I didn't get done simply because I did not want to travel more than 10 minutes from the house. I know.. sad... Tee Hee.. but I like being secluded in my humble abode.

Talk to ya'll soon...

Re'

GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS, VACATION!!!!


Yeah!!! I am on vacation for this whole next week. I have a few back-yard clean ups and odd jobs on my to do list as well as get organized for a yard sale. I have a long way go before my backyard will ever be as beautiful and delightful as I would like for it to be mainly because A) I have 4 Akitas, B) I have three boys C) I live in Texas and by end of June first of July the grass dies from the heat and D) I never have enough money.

The below is an editorial and my opinon only, after the editorial I have copied and pasted an article posted online at web address http://www.nationalreview.com/murdock/murdock200312030913.asp

Written by Deroy Murdock . I chose this article because of all the information online, his seemed the most factual and researched with supporting documentation.
There were many people that chose to ignore AIDS simply because no one understood it. Many Doctors, nurses, family and friends were afraid and prejudice simply because they did not know the facts about this disease. Lives were not lost because of President Reagan... Lives were lost because of the disease. I don't disagree that more should have been done and still be done but if we have any blame to place its on society as a whole and our own inability to accept rather than persecute. Jerry Falwell was the leader of the Moral Majority during that time and was quoted as saying "AIDS is the wrath of God upon homosexuals." AND he in turn along with the Moral Majority tried to prevent funding for AIDS education programs and counseling. Just for the record, I did not and do not agree with his statement, and I think It is crude and ill- informed and racist. The media forms our preceptions of our leaders and sometimes not with all the facts and tonight I hope I bring you a few. If I am wrong, show me and I will gladly re-consider my position.


Now for the article… It is not of my own writing and credit belongs solely to Deroy Murdock…..


Few men have known Ronald Reagan longer or better than Edwin Meese III. He began working in 1967 with then-governor Reagan in Sacramento, California. He became a president adviser on January 20, 1981, and was appointed Reagan's attorney general in February 1985.
Meese described to me the TV movie's take on Reagan, AIDS, and gays as "totally unfair, and totally unrepresentative of his views or anything he ever said." Meese, who now chairs the Heritage Foundation's Center for Legal and Judicial Studies, recalls AIDS as a key issue with which Reagan's senior staff grappled.
"I can remember numerous sessions of the domestic-policy council where the surgeon general provided information to us, and the questions were not whether the federal government would get involved, but what would be the best way. There was support for research through the NIH. There also were questions about the extent to which public warnings should be sent out. It was a question of how the public would respond to fairly explicit warnings about fairly explicit things. Ultimately, warnings were sent out."
"As I recall, from 1984 onward — and bear in mind that the AIDS virus was not identified until 1982 — every Reagan budget contained a large sum of money specifically earmarked for AIDS," says Peter Robinson, a former Reagan speechwriter and author of How Ronald Reagan Changed My Life. "Now, people will argue that it wasn't enough," Robinson adds. "But, of course, that's the kind of argument that takes place over every item in the federal budget. Nevertheless, the notion that he was somehow callous or had a cruel or cynical attitude towards homosexuals or AIDS victims is just ridiculous."
In February 1986, President Reagan's blueprint for the next fiscal year stated: "[T]his budget provides funds for maintaining — and in some cases expanding — high priority programs in crucial areas of national interest…including drug enforcement, AIDS research, the space program, nonmilitary research and national security." Reagan's budget message added that AIDS "remains the highest public health priority of the Department of Health and Human Services."
Precise budget requests are difficult to calculate, as online records from the 1980s are spotty. Nevertheless, New York University's archived, hard copies of budget documents from fiscal year 1984 through FY 1989 show that Reagan proposed at least $2.79 billion for AIDS research, education, and treatment. In a Congressional Research Service study titled AIDS Funding for Federal Government Programs: FY1981-FY1999, author Judith Johnson found that overall, the federal government spent $5.727 billion on AIDS under Ronald Reagan. This higher number reflects President Reagan's proposals as well as additional expenditures approved by Congress that he later signed.
Table 5 of Johnson's report shows annual federal AIDS spending during Ronald Reagan's watch. This is hardly the portrait of a do-nothing presidency:

Government Spending on HIV/AIDS
Fiscal Year ($ Millions) % growth over previous year
1982 8
1983 44 450.00
1984 103 134.09
1985 205 99.03
1986 508 147.80
1987 922 81.50
1988 1,615 75.16
1989 2,322 43.78

Total 5,727 (billion)
Source: Congressional Research Service

Free-marketeers may argue that the federal government should have left AIDS research and care to the private sector. Whether or not one embraces that perspective, no one justifiably can regard Reagan's requested and actual AIDS spending as a gleefully applied death sentence for AIDS sufferers.
Besides, could much have been done with an even larger cash infusion during the infancy of AIDS?
"You could have poured half the national budget into AIDS in 1983, and it would have gone down a rat hole," says Michael Fumento, author of BioEvolution: How Biotechnology Is Changing Our World. "There were no anti-virals back then. The first anti-viral was AZT which came along in 1987, and that was for AIDS." As an example of how blindly scientists and policymakers flew as the virus took wing, Fumento recalls that "in 1984, Health and Human Services Secretary Margaret Heckler predicted that there would be an AIDS vaccine by 1986. There is no AIDS vaccine to date."
Reagan also is accused of staying mum about AIDS. According to The Encyclopedia of AIDS: A Social, Political, Cultural, and Scientific Record of the HIV Epidemic edited by Raymond A. Smith, "Reagan never even mentioned the word 'AIDS' publicly until 1987."
Actually, as official White House papers cited by Steven Hayward, author of the multi-volume Age of Reagan show, the 40th president spoke of AIDS no later than September 17, 1985. Responding to a question on AIDS research, the president said:
[I]ncluding what we have in the budget for '86, it will amount to over a half a billion dollars that we have provided for research on AIDS in addition to what I'm sure other medical groups are doing. And we have $100 million in the budget this year; it'll be 126 million next year. So, this is a top priority with us. Yes, there's no question about the seriousness of this and the need to find an answer.
President Reagan's February 6, 1986 State of the Union address included this specific passage where he says the word "AIDS" five times:
We will continue, as a high priority, the fight against Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). An unprecedented research effort is underway to deal with this major epidemic public health threat. The number of AIDS cases is expected to increase. While there are hopes for drugs and vaccines against AIDS, none is immediately at hand. Consequently, efforts should focus on prevention, to inform and to lower risks of further transmission of the AIDS virus. To this end, I am asking the Surgeon General to prepare a report to the American people on AIDS.
Could Reagan have said more about AIDS? Surely, and he might have done so were he less focused on reviving America's moribund economy and peacefully defeating Soviet Communism. Could he have done more? Of course. Who could not have? But the ideas that Ronald Reagan did nothing, or worse, about AIDS and hated gays, to boot, are both tired, left-wing lies about an American legend.
----Deroy Murdock


(note from Re’ I deleted the portion regarding homophobia since it is not pertinent to my point. But I do suggest reading the whole article and you can find it on the address I listed above)


I totally agree with the authors last comments and feel my editorial could not do justice…. Thanks…

FARWELL TO PRESIDENT REAGAN...

I may be breaking some etiquette rule by not addressing President Reagan as "former" President Reagan, but my intentions are truly of respect for this man and his family. I was in the 4th grade when Mr. Reagan was elected by our nation as our leader and this Presidents time in office has always been a point of interest to me because it was at a time and an age when I first started becoming "socially" and politically aware. We particpated in a "mock" election and the three classes of about 80 kids split down the middle. I was not for Mr. Reagan and Mr. Bush, simpily because my parents weren't and it was during the course of debates at school that I learned the first important rules to choosing a our leader and that sometimes Parents are not always right. In the end, I was swayed by some pretty interesting facts and come election day I voted my heart and voted for Mr. Reagan, though I never told anyone I did, especially my family. I would have been a traitor...I also remember the day President Reagan was shot.. March 30,1981. We were all lined up in the hall to go to lunch and My teacher, Mrs. Wilson, made the announcement and I immeadiately began to cry... I was frightened... I did not understand this act and was afraid our country was now vulnerable to foreign attack. I do not know why I felt that particular emotion and it took several teachers to explain the entire situation to me before I could grasp what was really happening. President Reagan was in office when the first space shuttle was launched, and he was also in office when THE CHALLENGER exploded, which was another pivotal moment in my life. I was proud of the stand he took with Momar Kadaffi and I was charmed by his grace and character. When I learned he had been diagnosised with Alzheimr's, I was saddened for him and his family and prayed for him to be able to continue on in life with dignity and when the end would come... to fade with dignity as well and when I learned the end had come... I sat in my room alone and cried. The first time I have cried real tears in many years. No, I did not know President Reagan personally, but he was an important leader, role-model, and icon during some of the most important years of my childhood. I greatly respect this man and his leagcy and I am thankful he is now at peace and no longer walking in shadows cast by a horrible disease. I pray for his family and loved ones and hope grief touches them only briefly. I have gotten to watch the very little on televison regarding the ceremonies and processionals, but I did get to see today his casket being carried into the rotunda at the capital. After his casket was placed in position a Televsion camera from above zoomed out for an awe inspiring view of his casket and the Honor Guard surrounding it and the glow of the lights around the entire scene. I started crying and when it cut to the horse without his rider, and President Reagan's boots placed backward in the stirrups... I was sobbing. It made me think of some many things, good, bad, joyful, and frightening. I think President Reagan is receiving the best of intentions and attentions and I for one do not think it is being over done. He was a leader of our Country...and should have our respect...

May He Rest In Glorious Peace...

Ummmmm.... I think I go over board....

I have been busy for about a week planning this total Fleetwood Mac Vigil....and so far I have narrowed it down to appx 10-12 hours for our listening pleasure...Now, me, I can do a 24 hour stint and be totally happy.... but I am not sure Allen is comfortable with that much Stevie and The MAC.... Obsessed you say..... Definitely...Maybe its just a phase I am going through that has lasted several years.... I dont know but I love Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks...


I like other groups and people and I listen to them, but no one has come close( for me) to be as inspiring as they are.

I think I need therapy....LOL

I got this in email and absolutely loved it....


IN THE WISDOM OF A CHILD....

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!


HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago.



OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."



KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then
she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."



MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy
before?"



ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"



DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the
next morning."



DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard
the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and
cotton
batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always
said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ... and into the
hole he gooooes."



SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"




BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young
boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Poems, Poems, and More Poems...

I wrote these during the time I was alone during the seperation and subsequent divorce...

Loneliness is the destiny of fools,
Who love too much too often.

Glowing red sky at dusk
I feel the earth’s soft sigh
Gently laying its head to rest
Ending day and greeting Night.

Another day left in the void
Of menial task, passing minutes
Building the passage to a black,
Numbed existence.

Closing my eyes
The world outside slows
To a meandering canter
And my mind awakens.

A nightly journey within
The cobwebbed corners of
My mind, to dreams not yet real.

A thousand fairy tales told
A thousand love’s forsaken.
Tears of solitary reign spilling
Forth in this lonely darkened room

Renee H.


Barren and desolate
The winter moon reigns,
Dormant beneath frozen tundra,
Lying in wait
Imps and elfins slumber,
Restoring mystical powers
Of seduction, of lust.
Night blooming orchids of spring,
Await the return of their Queen,
Dreams of love and oneness
Ripple through their minds...
Hoping the search for her Adonis
Ending and the Reign of Bliss beginning.
Renee H.
Part II of the Goddess Poems...

Mantra Of A Goddess


Listless and free as a stormy nights breeze...
Dark and mysterious as the clouds drifting...
Magical and mystical as midnight's sky....
Bright and bold as the winter moonshine...
Carefree and light as a new lover's kiss...

Such is me on a night such as this...

Thunder, Lightening, wind and rain
Reveal traits buried within me....
My soul yearning to be free on a cloud so high.
Come dance with me in this realm.
Come set me free.

Renee H. Part III of the Goddess poems.

Rage In The Night

Loneliness consumes me
As completely as an encroaching
Storm consumes the night
Sky with ominous blackness.
Furious boiling, churning clouds
Hunt the silvery light of the moon,
Blanketing nature's light to feed the
Oppressing storm of despair.
An airless void between the heaven's
And Earth, crashes with waves of thunder
Taunting me with magnetic lightning,
Reverberating with intent to coerce
My subconscious to the surface
Forcing me to remember.
Hypnotic and alluring patterns of
Electricity violates the darkness.
Drawing me closer to the edge of
Eternal madness and suffocating pain.
Each bolt of radiant light herald's
Transparent apparitions of the paper garden
In which I inhabited with another
Not so long ago.
Mounting winds tear at my hair and clothes
Icy rain drops slash at my face as hard
And as frantic as a psychotic lover's
Blade across silken porcelain flesh.
Drenched with natures torment, Timidly
I embrace the savage fury of the storm
Releasing bound torments, frustrations and shame
I raise my head toward the cold glimmer of
Flashing light and scream for Mercy upon my soul.


Renee H.


Dancing on Moon Shadows

Shadows silhouetted across
A golden mane of sea grass,
Brown and brittle from winter's
Unmerciful toil.

Moonlight bathes the night
With a white luminescent glow
Giving depth to a mystical
Secret realm…

The Infinite blackness of the
Ocean alludes to no horizon.
Waves gently caress the shore,
Surging and receding,

Pungent odor of salty sea life mingles with
Smoke from a fire, dancing lazily,
Like a mournful ghost
Upward, merging with the stars.

The cold dampness of the sand
Penetrates my skin as I lay here
Drifting to thoughts of you...
Unknown to me in the flesh,

I feel your spirit, there, each night,
Dancing on moon shadows and
My longing grows for you as deep
And as strong as the ocean before me,

As the water caresses the shore,
I long to caress you, as the waves
Take hold of the shore, pulling bits
Of Sand unto its breast, I long to
Pull your heart and soul unto me
As slowly and tenderly as the water's kiss.

Renee Mayo