Time...

Everyday, my life is full and busy and that is a good thing, but I do miss having enough "time" to blogg. I visit several bloggs and have learned many things, and feel I have grown as person. The advantage of the internet is too use it as a tool to expand your mind and your opinions, to learn about different cultures and societies. I have learned that Americans, in general, are not viewed positively as a whole, and that saddens me. I have been humbled in my own opinion regarding my societies arrogance. Personally, I am thankful to live in a country where I am free. I am ashamed of what some people have done in order to enforce freedom in other countries. I am thankful to have grown up in a place where values and morals are still something we teach our children. I am saddened that we still have adults that need teaching. I am thankful I have a truly commited and loving husband. I am appalled at the number of relationships failing...

Members of our society, expect handouts. It is something our country encourages and I destest this ridiculous notion. We allow women to choose to have an abortion, but the man has no choice when an unplanned pregnancy occurs. We coddle our children to much, and dont discipline them enough.
We give substance to criminals by explaining their actions with doses of "he was neglected as a child" he was molested, she was beaten.... When we should be preventing these things or at least making the criminal realize the consequences of their actions.

Maybe my opinion is too narrow, but I am at least partially right.

Here is a poem I wrote a while back and I have posted it before, but it just seemed to fit how I was feeling. I hope you enjoy.

Social Inequities

Foolishness reigns society
Conscious logical thought is a Minority…
Consequence serves no master
Truth is only an illusion
Fate is our master
------Therefore Our God------
Therefore fools prevail in THIS world.
Folly holds us prisoner
Death is inevitable
Growth is not…
Insolence suffers “Green Manalishi” talks…
Pawns in a Game of Fate
Yes—We ALL Lose
Destiny is the only truth
Idealism is dangerous
Indifference breeds stupidity

And we all just walk away….

I had a "complete" physical on Tuesday...

Complete.... is now a dirty word in my vocabulary. I was poked and proded and violated and molested in ways my husband has never even had the balls to attempt much less ask. I hate preventative care, but I guess I should be appreciative. Due to proper medication, my blood pressure was down to 120/80, and Doc. was very pleased. I don't know the results of the pap smear or labs yet, but hopefully all is well in that aspect. I also have lost 13 lbs which doc was also pleased but I still have a long way to go. I can no longer have bread or potatoes and sugar must be used sparingly ... ie no sweets and I have to stop smoking... every dr says that... I have lost 33% of my lung capacity, i have emphysema/copd and at 33 that is not good. I was given a very stern lecture and told to stop. I have been given anti-anxiety medicine and it is helping but I still smoke.. just not as much right now. I am on my last pack from the carton we had, so bill and I are both going to quit. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I would give my life for my step-kids without second thought, but to give up smokes? I had never before even seriouslly considered it and now, now I want to stop...
I will probably be doing a lot of posting about this. I think it maybe theraputic because I was wanting a smoke really bad and since I have been typing the craving edged off.

All is well otherwise. Just life as usual, nothing to write home about. Love to All

Re'

I know I should have my blogging permit revoked for failure to appear....

Overtime at work is killing me physically and mentally, but financially it is going to look pretty nice....

I went to killer birthday party for a very dear friend of mine over the weekend and more fun than is safe to write home about.... tee hee.... Good Times....

I have some new stuff to post but I will share one with ya'll tonight....

Trembling like a wounded bird,
The lady's torment bleeds
To the surface of her resolve,
And the force of aged passion's
Ravages her sanity...
So te lady fades behind
A wall of protection...
Sheilding herself from
Future emotional pains
Within her dis-illusionment
She is like a blade
Cutting All she sees with true remorse,
But still unable to cease.
The will is weak and the anger strong
And the days grow harder, longer,
And the nights colder,
Offerring little repreive.
She hopes to grow softer ...
Even with no direction home...

9/9/04 Renee Herod

Some Call It A Dream...